Words
To The Weiser: A Look Back At InkCreates Hate Mail
By: Zack Iles
We're tired of doing all
the talking around here. Since InkCreate's readers far outclass
our writers in productivity and skill, we've decided to allot
some valuable space to their musings. In the following feature,
Music Correspondent Jeff Weiser responds to his favorite mail.
Part 1: Grammatical Devastation
There is nothing as fun as
correcting someone else's miserable grammar. But at InkCreate
it's becoming a full-time job. Never content to leave well-enough
alone, we've taken it upon ourselves to compensate for America's
declining academic standards. The first section of this feature
addresses our favorite grammatical error (and the most common
among respondents to InkCreate's articles)--confusion of possessives
and contractions. We think you're going to enjoy it.
Letter #1:
---- Begin Original Message ----
From: ToriRulez99999@yahoo.com
Sent: Fri, 3 Dec 1999 23:15:04
ESTTo: jeffkweiser@thespark.com
Subject: (no subject)
your a dick
---- End Original Message ----
InkCreate's Response:
Dear ToriphileT,
I think you mean "you're a dick,"
grammatically. "Your" is posessive, as in "how's
your dick?" "You're" is a contraction, indicating
"you are," as in "you are not much of a grammarian,
despite your [note correct possesive usage] love for Tori. Don't
waste your [possesive] time checking out InkCreate.com when you
should be at school, or you're [contraction] going to be a poor
writer forever.
Yours,
Jeff Weiser
InkCreate.com, Inc.
Music Correspondent
Letter #2:
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD MUSIC IF IT FELL
FROM THE SKY AND SMACKED YOU RIGHT IN YOU'RE UGLY MUG, I SUGGEST
INK CREATE FINDS A NEW MUSIC CRITIC POST HASTE!!!!
-Tony, Seattle Wa.
InkCreate's Response:
In response to daily grammatical disasters like these, we provide
the following helpful summary below:
InkCreate's Grammar Cheat Sheet
Spellings Contraction Possessive
THEY'RE
vs.
THEIR "They're"
Meaning:
they are "Their"
Meaning:
belonging to them
IT'S
vs.
ITS "It's"
Meaning:
it is "Its"
Meaning:
belonging to it
YOU'RE
vs.
YOUR "You're"
Meaning:
you are "Your"
Meaning:
belonging to You
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